Blessed and don't even realize

I think I've said before that I've kept a thankful journal off and on throughout my life, especially as a parent... but this week I thought I would blog it instead of a journal entry...

As we checked into the emergency room for the 2nd time in 3 days, we were asked a series of questions....

1. Do you feel safe? 
2. Do you feel safe to go home today? 
3. Do you have any restraining orders that we need to alert security? 

Those questions obviously have to be asked because there are these problems.  A world I know nothing about, really.  

While I waited for Hunter to get his xray - I was standing in the hall overhearing a social worker trying to explain to someone that they can give them a way out - they don't have to go home.  The police had brought her here to protect her as well as treat her injuries, but that she had a choice to get out. 

I was knee deep in helping Hunter and helping him work through his pain, yet I realized we have it so easy.  Our home is a safe place (unless I'm on a rampage if you get my drift... :)), never in fear of being hurt let alone my kids being hurt.  A grave reminder that someone ALWAYS has it worse than you..... 

Granted, it was agony to see my child hurt for 6 days straight and in pain worse than I've ever seen him -- but it was 6 days, some of you or others have weeks, months, years of watching those you love in pain.  

Then as you watch, some of these kids have parents that don't have a clue, are too distraught in their own issues to focus on their kids while the kid is obviously sick, hurt, in pain -- the parent is not invested.  Sad in a whole other way.

This led me to remember my thankful journal, that I need to pull it out again, that is needs to be visible, that no matter what we face in this minute or even tomorrow, there is MUCH to be thankful for... 

Is it easy to go through struggles? No -- a few days this week sucked.  Literally sucked.  It's ok to cry (when he wasn't looking) and it's ok to say it's not ok ---- I felt better when I acknowledged it and didn't have to say it was going ok when it really wasn't.  But once I acknowledged it and let myself feel it, at about the same time I told myself to keep it in perspective --- someone else was dying of hunger, someone else was losing a loved one to cancer, someone else had an accident.  I was able to hold my baby boy (not literally as he's way taller than me) and comfort him, reassure him we were going to get to the bottom of this. That in itself is something to be thankful for.  

Today I'm thankful for the doctors and nurses that study, work hard, have empathy, return my phone calls, put up with my 1,000 questions, concerns, ideas.  And I'm one in thousands that they do it for.  Thank the Lord we live in the USA where we have doctors, choices of hospitals, care whether I can pay for it today or not, technology to figure out what was wrong, medicine to correct it and ease his pain, medical staff that cared about his modesty, his well being.  

How's that for my thankful list for the day?  And at this moment, VERY thankful for a husband that comes home in 1 sleep!! :)  

Fiery Furnace

In spring, I led an in depth bible study on the book of Daniel.  I'm sure you all have heard of the story of the fiery furnace.  Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego were thrown into the fiery furnace for not worshiping the king.  And they came out of the furnace with no marks, not even smelling like smoke... a true miracle. These guys along with Daniel were studying/training with the king.  Daniel seemed to be the leader of the pack.  He had been called away -- so these 3 were on their own during this trial/testing of their faith.

True character often comes in the most inconvenient, alone, tough times.

Our lesson that week was on Daniel 3.  And today as we celebrate my friend Judy's life, I wanted to share this with you.  From that day of bible study we learned 3 different scenarios when people face a fiery trial:

1. We can be delivered FROM the fire.  These trials are not usually life long, they resolve.  
1. The dividend of this trial is our faith is BUILT
2. We can be delivered THROUGH the fire.  This is a fight, hard work, could be a long struggle, but it is a fight to reveal God's glory.  (James 1:12, John 11:4, IPeter 1:6-7)
1. The dividend of this trial is our faith is REFINED. 
3. We can be delivered BY the fire straight into His arms. (Heb 12:1-2, I Cor 15:26).  No explanation needed.... 
1. The dividend is that our faith is PERFECTED

My friend's faith is perfected.  She was delivered right into His arms.  

^{I Timothy 4:6-8}

 For I am already being poured out like a drink offering, and the time for my departure is near. ⁷ I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. ⁸ Now there is in store for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous Judge, will award to me on that day—and not only to me, but also to all who have longed for his appearing.

Something's missing....

The definition of a Mentor - a wise and trusted counselor, an influential senior sponsor or supporter. 

^{Titus 2:4-5} These older women must train the younger women to love their husbands and their children, ⁵ to live wisely and be pure, to work in their homes,^[b] to do good, and to be submissive to their husbands. Then they will not bring shame on the word of God.

My friend Judy lived this out.  I am going to miss her, her influence, her wise words, her comfort, her smile that made you feel welcome and everything would be okay.  

When I very first decided to find my birth mom, Judy and I talked about it.  She encouraged me, she prayed for me, she waited with me expectantly.  

When I wavered if Lindsay should do competitive cheer, she encouraged me and encouraged me to be active in it to calm my fears. 

When I've had moments of being a Mama bear -- she has backed me up.  She too is a Mama bear.  She too loves her kids and grand kids with a force not to be messed with.  

When I've felt out of balance and that work is invading my home life, she had been there and done that and told me that work will come and go, but raising kids is but a fleeting moment. 

At book club, she was a voice of reason. A voice to learn from, to soak up and listen to.  

At bible study, her interpretation of God's Word and His love for others was contagious.  She loved people.  She was a total example of loving people and hating the sin.  She could separate the 2 much more easily than I can.  

She was there for me in February in a whole new way --when I had told God no to a particular situation and He opened that wound and said I needed to say yes.  She cried with me.  She hurt for me.  She planted seeds in my life.  She hugged me. Gave me loving, but tough advice. She loved me.  When I tried to thank her for being there for me, she turned it right back around to thanking me for being a part of her life and how influential I was to her.  

She laughed with me ( a lot -- or maybe it was at me, I'm not sure) and she cried with me.  It doesn't get much more real than this, does it? I think Jesus is the same, Judy was on quest to be more like Jesus. I desire this too.  I want to be a real friend, a friend like Jesus would be. 

This week, Lindsay was asked to be a mentor at her school.  I will remind her of our friend Judy and what God says a mentor is to be... being a mentor is biblical, practical and much needed. We have so much to learn from those that are a stage ahead of us in life.  We can learn from the good and the bad.. Judy would give you illustrations of both.
 I'm missing my mentor... but know that Jesus has BIGGER plans for her and loves her with a love that I can't even begin to grasp.  Judy, I'm sure you are already planting seeds of your wisdom and love for others.  

It's time for us all to take a step to the next level, continue on the work that Judy was doing. Love people, invest in them, take interest in their journeys. 

40, try something new!! Feeling fab!

Turned 40 this week.  I'm not sure how this has happened as I seem to recall I was just in high school?!!?!? 

But a few months ago I decided I wanted to be a bit adventurous.... I didn't want to feel "old" or appear "too old".... do you have those thoughts?  

Just as it has panned out --- I've had the opportunity the past month to do a few "firsts" -- just to make sure I keep life exciting and feel young!! 

• White Water Rafting trip (thanks to my sister in law)
• I'm terrified of drowning, so I nicely passed when she asked the 1st time using Lindsay as my excuse -- however, when Lindsay decided she would go, I had to go too..... 
• BUT I didn't fall out and I loved every minute, want to do it again. 
• Ziplining --- FANTASTIC!! Check out High Life Adventures in Warrenton, OR.  We had a total blast.  My parents went as well as my kids and hubby. 
• Riding a quad - actually DRIVING a quad.  After a terrible experience as a kid, I had not driven one ever again. But patient and kind friends encouraged me to do it.  It was very fun.... plus it involved riding at the beach -- did you say the beach?  Yes!! I'm there.  Riding along the water was a total thrill. 
• Road Trippin it with Garth & the kids... this was the longest road trip we've had together and it was fantastic. Disneyland, Universal, Hollywood, family, etc.... great times. 
• As of last night: 
• 1st surprise party thrown on my behalf.  Fantastic times and so fun to see people from various walks of life together in one place!  Loved it!! 
• 1st jello shot ever in my life thanks to my sweet friend.... they are dangerous and should come with a warning label..... 
• 1st time having my drivers license with a punched hole in it.... luckily or not so luckily I didn't have to show it to order my BUCKET last night... hhmmm..... 

I learned this past month that I need to keep life more interesting.  Not necessarily with "things" (or expensive trips) but with being willing to try something new.  This is a life skill that I need to polish up on and be a good example to my kids to try things. You never know if you are going to like it until you try it... 

Have you tried something new this summer?  Did you like it? 

Makin Memories...

Vacation was fantastic.  We had originally planned a camping trip to the Redwoods/Southern Oregon coast but decided to ditch that plan once Garth got a new job.  We realized next year's vacation time was already taken, and by the next vacation -- Hunter could be working and we need to maximize the time we have with them now as time is slipping away.... 

The kids had no idea of the change until the morning of when a trailer was not being taken along...... 

First on the agenda was Wildlife Safari.  Hugely disappointing from the last time we were there.  So, just did a drive thru and went on..... 

We surprised them with a stop at In-n-Out Burger.  And of course tshirts for all!! 

Stopped at Sacramento for the night.  Had a great day of driving and then gave them their 1st mission -- to learn all they could about CA. at the capitol! 

We then gave them their 2nd mission -- DISNEYLAND! I booked this trip through Get Away Today online!  Man, their package was awesome and SO well priced!! They had all the details thought through and offered suggestions.  I will definitely use them again for a vacation. 

Had a great time, didn't wait more than 45 minutes and that was only for 1 ride -- most other rides we walked up to or waited 15 minutes!  But it was crowded -- just timed it by going in the mornings. 

Their 3rd mission was UNIVERSAL STUDIOS.  This was my favorite thing.  I love seeing how they make movies, decorate the sets, stunts, special effects.  So interesting.  Again we hardly waited in lines -- got there by 7:30 in the morning and had done everything by 5pm! 

Lastly we went to Hollywood and it was disappointing.  However, we had a great time at the wax museum.  Then bee lined for our car where I felt much safer!!! 

Got to see my aunt and stay the night with her for Garth's birthday -- then headed for home. 

We were home for less than 20 hours and headed to the beach for our annual church campout.  It was a great time to decompress, relax and soak in all the sights we had seen and enjoyed.  And sleep in my own "bed" in the trailer!  And get me some "beach therapy". 

Since we were at the beach -- all I wanted to do for my birthday was to zipline! And we were able to do this with my parents.  See the videos on my facebook page or the kids'.  We had a fantastic time and I'm blessed to have such cool parents to do this stuff with! 

The kids loved their daily "mission" surprises and it was fun to come up with them. Hunter made a video of the missions we read to them. 

Family time is precious. I'm feeling this more and more the older the kids get -- we just came home from our "family" camp for church --- it wasn't really for family time (not complaining) but time for the kids to bond with other kids since I only saw them when they wanted food.... makes you realize you have to seize the moments, soak it up, relish in it.  Times are changing.  And not only our immediate family, but seizing time with my parents as well.  

Today Garth began his next journey in his career which will demand a lot of time away from home this year -- so we seized time -- time just with our kids, making memories... and now to have fun scrapbooking it all!! 

So much.....abundance

I'm reeling.  Literally.  Hunter left for a week of camp and  I feel like our life has completely changed in the week he's been gone.  I would like to say it would be nice to have a boring week -- but since we are Mosher's -- that won't happen.  Won't he be surprised??

Lots of things are uncertain at this time.  Life changes I would say.  Garth starts a new job on August 8th, looking at school options, facing a vacation, work changes/issues, big birthdays coming up.

All of it good -- all of it challenging -- all of it uncertain.  The past month, as my birthday is coming up, I've been thinking about 1st's. If you follow me on FB, you see I've been posting about 1st's.  Choosing to celebrate change, choosing to try something new, something uncertain.  And resting in the fact that I know the One who never changes, who always is and always will be.  He knows our future, He knows what's best, He sees the larger picture.

I'm really trying to savor these good things -- that we are in a season of harvest.  Reaping what we have been planting all along, but knowing that there will be another planting season, another time to grow and wait and prune.

Have faith!  Have faith in times of uncertainty, change.  God sees the BIG picture.

Sassy Redhead!!

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Mother's Day 2012

How was your Mother's Day?  I'm not a huge fan of holidays -- as we have taken them and laid out huge expectations that seem to always disappoint.  But that's the story of another blog.... :)

God showed up big time in my day and I hope He did for you too.

The day before Mother's Day I got to spend time with my mom, sister in law and my Grandma.  We attended a woman's tea that had a great speaker who encouraged us to live for today as we aren't guaranteed anymore than that.  Perfect timing as my Grandma (who is 95) was struggling in her health.  As I visited her, it broke my heart to see her deterioration.  To deteriorate and know it seems worse than my Grandpa who was deteriorating, but with Alzheimer's didn't really know it.  So, this made me very sad and very thankful to have a family that lives with no regrets and if God called her home, we were as ready as you can be.  I love my Grandma, her sense of humor, her wisdom on life, her humility that says she hasn't even figured life out and most of all I love her faithful prayer life for her children and grandchildren and great grandchildren.

That day when other things seemed bleak, you would mention my cousins or my children --- her face would light up.  I pray for that type of love in my own life -- such a testimony -- even when you don't feel good or I get to be 95.

Then we spent the evening with my mom -- and loved watching her face light up as we gave her a Kindle.  She was so very excited and it's always fun making memories together as a family.

I had a rough time leaving that night.  It's hard to live away -- even though it's a bit over an hour away -- you can't just pop in to see things.  It resets your priorities.  I'm not sure why it has to take these kinds of things to refocus you, but it seems that's true. Maybe I should work on that.

My heart was a bit broken........

Earlier in the week, I had sent my birth mom an email -- God had been leading me to open my heart a bit, and let her see a glimpse and also share some words with her.  This scares me, and I guess always will.

Her response on Mother's Day..... no response to my words I sent to her, but a simple Happy Mother's Day email.

My heart was a bit more broken........

The kids woke up.  They had each made me a gift.  Hunter painted me a beautiful picture of rocks at the ocean.  (The beach is my favorite!!!) Truly a gift, I love how they share their love.  And then came Lindsay's letter.

Tonya: 

Caring, hardworking, loving, helpful

Mother of Lindsay, Hunter, Jeff

Lover of family, polar bears & dark chocolate

Who feels happy, loved & peaceful

Who needs nothing

Who gives kisses, love & faith

Who fears losing her children, illness & family dying

Who would like to see her kids not fighting, a clean house & people become Christians

Resident of Beaverton, OR

Mosher

Wow.  Wow. It was as though it was a love letter from my God as well.  He saw my needs, my hurts, and allowed my kids and husband to love on me and affirm me.  I don't think you could ask for a better gift.  

It is my saying for the week:

Life is hard -- God is faithful

What an awesome God to see my broken heart and know just how to mend it.  He understands, He hurts with me, He misses nothing.  Truly blessed.  Truly blessed.  

Tax season 2011 DONE

I made it!  Conquered another tax season!  I think I need to celebrate...

Opportunities!!

Today was a bit of a rough milestone for me.  You know the one, the one where you have to say NO.  Does anyone else struggle with this?  I sure do.  I'm not sure where it comes from and why I think that I can be Wonder Woman -- but I sure think I can.

I got a GREAT opportunity for a new client.  Huge challenge, new software, great people, steady work.  Sounds great, right?  It is.  But I had to turn them down. Life isn't as easy as saying yes or no to things.  I wrestled with it in my mind all weekend -- how I can fit it in, what great experience it is, what will it look like.

I realized a few things.
   1.  I'm already busy enough.
   2.  My kids are getting older and I don't want to miss out on anything
   3.  What if I can't give them my best because my best is divided so much?

Balance is something I'm working on.  So because of maintaining a proper balance, I had to say no.  Balance is something I struggle with everyday and am trying to incorporate.  (My next step is in exercise -- so keep me accountable). But balance in your life brings about peace and great relationships.

But saying no in a way that means not right now --- saying no in a way that tells them that since I care and want great things for them, I'm saying not right now.  And saying no in a way that still leaves the door open for the future.

While in business, doors always need to stay open. And as a business owner, always looking for great opportunities is what I do.  Keeping relationships that will allow you to possibly work together again in the future and allow for even greater things.  This gets my adrenalin going and I get excited about what COULD be coming.  You just never know and that excites me..

Today was a milestone -- you can either worry or you can trust -- but you can't do both.  (From church yesterday).  So, I'm going to trust.

Relaxing isn't for wimps...

I have a whole week to relax (well, kind of). I had great high hopes of doing nothing, but I'm not good at this.  It's hard for me.  My mind thinks of all these things I could do and should do.  In this short time, I've learned that Hunter has the same personality as me.... go, go, go -- task list DONE!  When I think of relaxing, I think of sleeping.. Maybe this problem isn't new as I had a class in college, and part of the homework was to visit the "relaxation lab" -- guess what I always did -- SLEPT through my time!  Ha! The teacher always wrote on my paper, that I needed to find a way to relax -- that sleeping wasn't the answer.

I think I can learn some lessons from Garth & Lindsay -- that life CAN pass me by and I can sit back and relax... they are good at this.  They don't care if they miss things or miss out, they care more about quality time  with each other -- while Hunter & I fly by from our latest adventure....

How do you relax?  Do you just sit? Do you do something fun for yourself?  What do you call relaxing?

I'm reading my book club book (which is fantastically maddening), watching kids swim, playing volleyball and teaching the kids to play, feeding hungry kids.  Today I braved the American Girl store!  (This was NOT relaxing...just sayin...)

I'm trying to relax and will continue to work at it.. I've heard your body needs a break.

Community

I'm loving where we are at in our life.  We are "settled" (well as settled as I will ever be) in our neighborhood, home, schools, etc... we have "roots".

I love that you go for a walk and see people you know, you show up to the kids events and make new friends who become true, good friends.

Community is important.  Making friends even more important, making a difference in someone's life who may in turn make a difference in yours.

Community provides safe havens for kids, kids who are hurting, have difficult lives.  Community can be there to give a kid a chance.  A chance to be accepted, excel and be loved.  I think of this as Hunter has a very difficult boy on his swim team  -- that the coaches are willing to provide this boy something positive in his life as his parents are in prison and has gone through hell.  What if this team turns things around in his life?  Or he looks back and realizes it was a safe place, a turning moment?

When Jesus talks about investing in others it's like the man who spread seeds --- some took and grew, some needed more fertilizer, some didn't take at all.  But some may take a long time to grow.  (my own paraphrase, please excuse).  We don't know what seeds will take and what won't -- but none go wasted.

I'm proud to say we live in Aloha --- a community that really does invest in our youth.  INVESTING is a word that I've been thinking of lately (as we keep passing out cash for things), that we truly are making an investment in our kids for their future and someday they invest into their community.  It's a long term investment with immediate dividends.

I'm sad this is our last youth cheer event for the year -- I've come to love my cheer peeps (from coaches & mentors, to all the girls and of course my bestest mom peeps). And it's been such a great positive experience for Lindsay.

How can you invest in your community?  Be a seed planter!

Change your Response

I haven't updated this in awhile, I'm sorry.  It's been a month of ups and downs in my personal life and hasn't felt like the right time to tell the "world".  But I think I'm ready -- plus I have to get this stuff down on paper if I ever get to write a book about it!

As a lot of you know, I've been corresponding with my birth mother for the past 2 years.  I won't bore you with the story here as it's many, many pages.  But in October, all communication ceased.  I pushed her too far in the relationship, and she retreated.  I made a choice then, I wouldn't chase.  During this period of time, my social worker gave me some loving, difficult words.  Words I didn't want to face, words that hurt but were true.  This whole relationship was one sided.  It wasn't a true, right relationship.  I remained silent.

January 1st comes, I feel led to contact my birth siblings.  I did expecting a response --- silence, nothing.

Sometimes silence hurts more than words, right?

I then made up my mind (did you see the word my?) that I would not continue to go where I'm not wanted.  It's painful, it hurts, it's lonely.  I'm DONE.  D-O-N-E. I shared that in my prayer time to God, I'm D-O-N-E.  But in the back of my mind (not my heart), I knew I couldn't be done.  But allowed myself to "shelve it".  To not dwell on it, to not think about it, but to lay it to rest of now.

I'm about 3 weeks into my little "shelving process".  We are reading this book for book club that is a true story of about severe persecution in the US.  And that this family continued to live somewhere where someone didn't want them and made their lives miserable.  I found myself praying for this family -- what faith they had to remain to stay where they weren't wanted.  I prayed this as I read this book.  And also thinking I couldn't really relate to this.

Monday, Feb 13th -- having prayer time in the shower (yes, I do this alot -- it's rare solitude), I prayed for this family again and I felt the Lord telling me -- Yes, that's right.  They went where they weren't wanted and I'm telling you to do the same.  Persevere, continue on.  I nicely (NOT) reminded Him I was taking a break, I couldn't continue to go where I was not wanted.  It's painful all the way to your toes.  (That's a subject for another blog - not being wanted).

All day I couldn't get this out of my mind and really struggled with this -- I told God no repeatedly.

I checked the mail after getting the kids from school ----- guess what was in the mail?  THE sweetest card from my birth mom.  I had a colored rubber band ball of emotions.  Anger, sad, happy, hopeful, disgusted.

And finally, peace with God in knowing He had provided.  His hand was showing the way.  What confidence, affirmation and peace in doing what God has asked you to do.  Is it easy?  Not always.  Is it rewarding?  Yes, even though we may not see the reward this side of heaven.

What a great book club discussion we had on the lesson of forgiveness and persecution.  I guess I could relate to the book (not on same life threatening scale, but emotionally).  And the support and love I received from my sister chicks that night was life changing and confirming and loving.

God uses the broken, He uses those who choose to obey, and even those who resist (like I did), the rebellious.

What my birth mom is thinking, what I think, what others think really isn't bothering me as much .... I know what God has called me to do, and I trust He'll pave the way.

I then had to choose my response.  And of course, they ran the whole course of things I could do or say and what my attitude would show.  It wasn't always pretty.  Even today, I had to put myself in check visiting with my social worker and sharing with her I can't waste any more energy or time trying to "figure her out" and figure out her motives.  I may never know and in the end it doesn't really matter.  I'm trusting God to the details.

And how I chose to respond, thank you for the sweet card.  I really appreciate it.  That was it.  I will not go back to how things were and continue in the pattern.  Change your response and it demands the other person changes theirs too in some way.  You may not always see it outwardly, but inward they too have to change.

How can you change your response in a situation? My change has freed me.  My heart feels lighter.  Try it and see if yours does too.... let God handle the details.

Truth can suck!

John 8:32 says "You will know the Truth and the truth will set you free."

My first thought is I like my little bubble of denial.... do you?

But the more I study and search my soul, the more I want to know the truth so I can do something about it.  Knowing the truth springs you into action, doesn't it?

Living in denial allows you to not move or take action on what needs to be changed or solved.

Even when the truth is ugly and hurtful and full of rejection ---- I still want to know.  Because then I can take appropriate action.  God knows the truth and has prepared you to be able to handle the truth.

Today, I'm glad I know the truth and I'm ready to face it head on and take appropriate steps.  It's freeing! Try it!

Life's bump in the roads cause you to see the horizon more clearly

This was not the best week for me as you have probably figured out by my posting.  I don't think it helps that I'm buried up to my neck in work -- bad news hits you worse when you are stressed.

But I realized that even though bad things happened, there are more than twice that many good things happening too.  I think God chooses to work this way.  BUT, we have to look for it.  I honestly felt like there was serious darkness, but I could feel the light on my face.  There was light causing me to put life into perspective.

Can you see positive situations despite the deepest darkest moments?

As I was struggling, I came across Romans 15:1-5.

¹ We who are strong must be considerate of those who are sensitive about things like this. We must not just please ourselves. ² We should help others do what is right and build them up in the Lord. ³ For even Christ didn’t live to please himself. As the Scriptures say, “The insults of those who insult you, O God, have fallen on me.”^[a] 4 Such things were written in the Scriptures long ago to teach us. And the Scriptures give us hope and encouragement as we wait patiently for God’s promises to be fulfilled.

 ⁵ May God, who gives this patience and encouragement, help you live in complete harmony with each other, as is fitting for followers of Christ Jesus.

Ouch, right?  That's what I THOUGHT! Because I'm strong (only in Him), I have to help others and build them up. This was not my thought process.  Not a natural reaction to be kind and patient encouraging those who hurt you.  

WAIT PATIENTLY (not my strong suit) for God's promises to be fullfilled -- did you notice it didn't say MAYBE?  If He feels like it?  TO BE is what it says.  What a fantastic promise, now to trust Him with the details of how, when, where and in what way.  

Then the message at church today was on the POWER of the Holy Spirit.  That He can fill your life and go forth with you, filling every crack and every void.  I certainly need that.  

In the midst of your week, I would love to hear the positives that are happening in your life.  

Mosher Family: Trusting God is an ongoing process

Mosher Family: Trusting God is an ongoing process: "The greatest freedom God can give you is to trust His ability to take care of you each day". In the book, "So You Don't Want to Go To Chur...

Trusting God is an ongoing process

"The greatest freedom God can give you is to trust His ability to take care of you each day".  In the book, "So You Don't Want to Go To Church Anymore"

Wow.  Wow.  Wow.  We screw things up when we look further down the road.  We don't get how things will work out over time.

Again letting go of tomorrow's concerns and thanking God for our provisions today.

"We can only see what we can do. We can't yet see what God is going to do." another quote from the book.

Book club chicks -- are you ready to discuss this book next week?  I'm loving it and getting a ton of practical advice for my life at this moment!!

Today I need to let it go.  I need to be okay with the outcome, however it may be.  And that requires a process of grieving the ideal.  I had visions of my mind how the situation should play out.  I had envisioned it so much, I was sure it would happen. Now I have to accept that at this time, it's not going to happen like I thought.  This makes me sad, mad, frustrated.  Wondering, why, what is the purpose?  


You can make many plans,but the Lord’s purpose will prevail. Proverbs 19:21. 


This verse came to mind this morning.  I had planned it would go a certain way, but God's ways are higher, more accurate, bigger pictured. 


¹¹ For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope. ¹² In those days when you pray, I will listen. ¹³ If you look for me wholeheartedly, you will find me. ¹⁴ I will be found by you,” says the Lord. “I will end your captivity and restore your fortunes. I will gather you out of the nations where I sent you and will bring you home again to your own land.” Jeremiah 29:11-14 


Confirmation that God's plans are better than mine.  I need to let go and grieve my idea of how it should come together.  Trust in God's plan and know that He is protecting me, guiding me, leading me to what's next.  


I need to align my heart and my mind.  And go back to my saying from the beginning of this journey ---- you NEVER know or realize what God is protecting you from that you have no idea about.  The situations He has saved you from. It can always be worse, we need to be more thankful about the things that DON'T happen to us, right? And in this situation, I need to be thankful for that, really thankful.  He could be protecting me from a really bad situation that I have no understanding of.  All I see is my point of view, and from here I want it so bad... I don't have the full big picture.  Praising God that He does!  And he's protecting me. 


Trusting that God is holding my heart and my mind in his hand, and working on letting go of my plan, and resting in His. 

Perspective

Today was not really a good day.  And for many, many reasons that are not in my control.  And I found myself deep into a little pity party.  I usually don't relish here, but today I really wanted to hibernate and nestle down tight in my little party of 1 (my party ended up affecting a few others, sad how that happens).

I prayed and asked God to put it into perspective.  To help me only really look at one thing at a time, instead of the overwhelming piles that were about to crumble around me.

But tonight as I was driving like Mario Andretti, trying to get the frustrations out... I realized that alone today -- someone had lost a child, another friend's husband left her, someone lost a parent, another acquaintance had lost their home.

My perspective is way off.  Is yours?  Do you ever feel like you are about to crumble ------ then you have a moment where you realize, someone always has it worse than you.

Now on top of my pity party -- I feel guilty.  Just kidding.  My circumstances weren't great today and I had some strikes against me, but tomorrow is a new day and I'm tucking in both my kids (who I've asked to forgive me) giving loves to my husband in a bit and snuggling into my warm bed.  My circumstances are GREAT compared to many others and that's what I'm focusing on tonight as I close my eyes.

And ask for more grace to make it through tomorrow.  How's your perspective?  Does it need adjusting like mine?  Take a step back.  Evaluate.  Adjust. Make some changes.

New Year Clearances!

Happy 2012!  This year has started off with a huge bang!! I got to ring in the year at the BEACH!  Those of you who really know me -- know this is my favorite place in all the world... I love the waves (which a few times were very stormy:love, love, love) and the sand, the sounds, the clouds... I could go on and on.

Not only was I at the beach -- but I went to the outlet mall.  Double the fun!  I took Lindsay shopping for some new jeans and her cousin Abby got to come along.  We had the best time.  Looking at things, laughing, buying, laughing some more. You get the idea.

Of course, I only shop the clearance racks.  My kids know that we only have things that come from clearance. So as soon as we would walk in a store, I would ask the girls if they see the clearance racks.... right?  Teach them how to shop right, I say.

When we are done shopping, Abby wants to go to McDonalds.  Shocking, if you know her too.  Ha.

We go up to the drive through --- Lindsay spots the clearance sign and says in a huge loud voice: "Mom, McDonald's is having a clearance!! We can get a good deal!"

I then had to explain that the world clearance has a few different meanings....