Facing Fear

This past week of our Stuck Bible Study was on "Scared".  I didn't really think I could relate to this, as I don't scare too easily -- but turns out it was talking more about anxiety, worry. (At least to me)

From Matthew 6:25-34: (Read it if you want to).  It's about not worrying about tomorrow, and how Jesus meets even the needs of the birds and the growth of the lilies. Why wouldn't He meet your needs?

Worry immobilizes you, concern moves to action.  You see, concern is ok as it motivates you to a change, however if you ignore that concern, it then becomes worry.  Or for some of us, we blow right by concern and just worry... worry does not solve the issue.  Worry just:

• Damages your health
• Consumes your thoughts
• Disrupts productivity
• Negatively impacts how you treat others
• Reduces ability to trust God

God does not ignore those who depend on Him. 

Verse 33 in that chapter became alive to me in a new way. It basically said to me -- there are REAL challenges God wants us to pursue, worrying keeps us FROM them.  OUCH! 

Isaiah 55:8-9

For My thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways My ways.. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are My ways higher than your ways and My thoughts than your thoughts.  

I was thinking about this verse and reflecting on it as a friend of mine received bad news last week.  In fact, news I think you and I would consider the worst news of our lives.  Have you ever heard, if that happened to me, I just don't know what I'd do?  I wouldn't be able to handle it.  This comment bugs me.  I'm being honest, it really does bug me.  It didn't used to, but it does now.  

Martin Luther King

All growing up I had this fear, this phobia of rejection.  It was one of those "ridiculous, out of perspective" fears.  I would think looking back that it was centered on being adopted.  When you are a kid (or some adults) you are self centered and can't see other perspectives easily.  But I was terrified of not being good enough, not doing the right things, not having friends. The list goes on and on. So, when God specifically called me to find my birth mom, we had a little chat about this rejection.  I told Him then that I wouldn't be able to handle the rejection if she did respond in this way and asked Him to guarantee that wouldn't happen if I obeyed.  Seriously, looking back at my blogging during this time, I wrote about it over and over.  I would crumble, I would be depressed, I'd need serious help, etc... It was my WORST fear.  Even over losing those I love.  I know, I'm mental.  I'm ok with it. 

So, February 1st comes around.  I answer the phone like I would any other day. In the middle of work, filing, going about my business, and it's my social worker.  In about 30 seconds of news, you receive the news you've always wondered about your ENTIRE life, and then it comes out that she can't have anything to do with you.  #REJECTION. 

But, in less than a second, I looked around -- I was STILL STANDING, my kids were still laughing in the next room with friends and life was going to be okay.  This strength/courage comes from knowing His ways are higher than my ways.  His thoughts are higher than My thoughts.  He helped me face my worst life fear.  We were going to be fine.  There was no crawling in a hole, putting the covers over my head, not facing tomorrow.  

And just like my friend last week, she's still standing, still moving, still getting up every day.  She too is trusting His ways are higher than my ways.  It doesn't mean it doesn't hurt and you aren't scared.  It means Jesus will be with me EVERY moment of EVERY day because He promises us that. And with that, I can face the next 5 minutes.... and once I do that, the next 5.  

So, when you think about facing your worst fear or receiving awful scary news, remember His ways are not my ways.  He has a plan that we can't see fully today, but will reveal to us moment by moment.  And you too will be standing.  And I think one of the greatest testimonies we can have in times of trial. 

I've always told the kids, the only thing you CAN control in life is your response.  Life will throw you all kids of curve balls, but we can control HOW we respond.  I'd like my response to be I'm still standing (or on my knees praying I trust His ways)