IF:Table --- I'm scared to join - what is it?

I've been a bit out of touch.  Buying and selling a house is a bit consuming as is settling in.  We are absolutely loving every minute of our home!

I wanted to try and explain what IF:Table is all about - at least to me.  We are kicking this off at our church and I thought by explaining what it is, you would climb on board this fun journey!

IF:Table stemmed from a lady that -- when her husband took a pastor position, she decided she wanted to have the entire congregation over for dinner.  Of course, this can't happen at once -- but 6x6 she worked her way through the entire congregation.  You can see more of her story at www.ifgathering.com and click on gather, then IF:Table.

When we were at the conference, we had mini ideas of what this should look like.  For example:

• After a few hours of teaching, we turned around and sat in a circle with those close to us and asked simple questions from a list of cards. 
• This concept helped you get to know someone new
• It helped you process the speakers you had just heard
• It made the event get personal and small
• BTW, Jennifer and I made new friends this way that we ended up having meals with! 
• Dinner Friday night
• You picked a card based on $$$ and type of food
• When you arrived at your choice, you were to meet up and find new friends to sit with! 
• You weren't necessarily given questions to ask, but kind of did that indirectly because it made conversation flow better
• This is where we met our rockstar friends we ended up sight-seeing with!! It was incredible. 

People look at me and say I'm an extrovert --- but each of those things were hard for me.  I was with my friend from Tucson and was more than content to just be with her since we don't get that every day! But - the blessings that flowed from these times outweighed my anxiety about it.  

Did you get that last line? 

MY BLESSINGS OUTWEIGHED MY ANXIETY.  

IF:Table is very simple.  You gather 6-8 women at someone's house for a meal.  This can look different for each group ---- potluck, themed dinner, potato bar, simple, delicate, over the top, etc.  Depends on the hostess and the decisions in the group.  You don't have to have a huge house -- or even a table that seats everyone - or the perfect set up.  

You ask 4 questions.  This is my favorite part. Want to know why? I hate small talk.  I hate trying to make conversations with strangers.  It's exhausting.  It's not my thing.  The table focuses on these 4 questions and the conversations it starts.  The focus is off me. It's off you.  It's answering a question.  

It's only 2 hours --- once a month.  There is a start and end time. You won't be there forever.  It makes the time have purpose and recognizes that we respect your time.  And once a month? Who can't do once a month night out with some new friends? 

The simplicity of it is refreshing.  It reminds me of the stories of the disciples sitting with Jesus. Impromptu (although we do have a date set) but purposeful.  It's not about the food, or the cleanliness or appearances. It's about learning to be more like Christ and being intentional about your life.  

Personally, I do better in situations that have purpose.  But no so rigid that I can't be me or I can't see how to use my gifts.  

The table is a place where friendships are formed and lives are changed.  

IF:Walk it Out my Own Way

I'm BAACCCKKKKK.....

Time flies when you are having fun.  I haven't posted in a bit -- it's been a busy few months of packing up 1/2 the house, having a sick husband, painting the house, listing the house, selling the house, buying a new house, kids sports, enrolling Hunter at Aloha High, small groups, AUSTIN.
Yep -- that's where I've been since November.

A LOT of you have asked me about my conference.  It was a similar experience to Guatemala in that you came home changed, perspectives were tweaked.  Yet, this time, without my family feeling the same.  But needing time to have it "soak" in to where you could even explain it and make sense to others.  I still realize it's me, and I'm crazy and don't make sense to a lot of you - so that could be a long wait......... but..........

There is so much to tell you that it may take a few blog posts as you and I both don't have all day to write/read.  But the theme of the conference was to DREAM BIG.  And of course, IF is all about asking the question, IF GOD IS REAL, THEN WHAT?

We studied the story of Caleb and Joshua, being spies and checking out the city of Jericho, the promised land.  From the time they went to spy, to the time the walls of Jericho fell.  Each speaker built up to the walls falling.  Taking scripture and dissecting it down.

As we sat under humble, beautiful, talented women sharing God's word ---- I was really moved to continue to run my race.  I was really hoping to hear something new or hear God say to do something really great for Him.  But that's not what happened.  Really not.  I was hoping for clarity.  I got muddy confirmation.  I was hoping for something "new" (you have to know me to appreciate this), I got "stick with it". I was hoping for "a ha", I got continue in your own lane.

Joshua 1:6-9
How many times does God say Be Bold & Courageous?
Life is a battle.  We have the Conqueror on our side.  But we need to be bold and courageous in this lifetime.  Being bold means standing up for what is right, being bold means not being afraid.  Courageous leave legacies.  This was not a suggestion.  This was a command.

They had gone to check out the land as spies (Numbers 13) and had seen what their competition was. Caleb & Joshua had said -- we can do this!  God is on our side! The other 10 spies shared how scary it was, how big the enemy was, how it was a daunting task.  They couldn't see the bigger picture of the land and honey.  The bigger picture that their God was on their side.  They weren't willing to be bold and were sure lacking courage.

I don't want to be one of the 10.  I want to be the one that says - nothing is impossible because my God is on my side.  He has overcome all evil. He wants what is best for me.

Being 2 of 12 - with 10 against you is where I get weary.  This is where I wish I could run a different race sometimes.  This is where we look and say why can't we live like so and so? Why do I struggle while others race through?

Hebrews 12 states that we are called to run the race MARKED for us.  Sometimes I think we glaze over the part that states it is JUST for us, we just see to run the race and run it well.  We need to put our blinders on and not look to the right or left.  That will cause you to stumble.  Think of running the race --- if you take your eyes off the finish line, you will lose your footing.  You will fall back.  You will be distracted.  The cool thing is that God has a race made just for you!  I don't have to run someone else's course, nor at the speed that they are, just run your own course(thank God, cause I'm slow)

This leads me to my new saying ---- Walk it Out and Walk it Out in your Own Lane.  Christine Caine and Bianca Orthoff encouraged us to Walk it Out.

Joshua 6 talks about Joshua and his gang walking around the City of Jericho.  They were to walk around it once a day for 6 days.  Then the 7th day they were to walk it 7 times while blowing horns.  Does this seem crazy to you?

Our small minds think --- I've already done this for 5 days -- nothing has happened.
Day 6 -- is this for real? What will be different tomorrow? Why should we keep doing this? Nothing is happening.

Day 7 arrives and you were to walk around -- AND make noise?  Seriously?
God literally waited until the 7th day, after the 7th lap ---- the walls fell down.

WALK IT OUT...... what if you are on day 6 of a trial?  What if the answer is around the next bend?  Bianca Orthoff said --- "Results are God's responsibilities, responses are ours. You need to walk it out when it's not working out"

What in your life needs "walked out"?  What are you going to choose to do?

I'm trying to Be Bold and Courageous in Walking out my Race. With God's help - nothing is impossible.  Luke 1:45 and Luke 18:27

Circle Your Need and Pray Like Mad

It's Tuesday. We've spent 6 hours in the ER - trying to figure out what's going on with Garth.  High, ridiculous fever that is giving him chills that literally lift him off the bed.  The doctor sat with me, just watching him breathe and shiver and watch his teeth shake like a cartoon figure - only this was my sick, sick husband.

After deciding to admit him and just watch him --- The Dr. came in and said we had to make a decision --- the chest xray had come back abnormal (but not a normal abnormal), he wanted the radiologist to reread it in the hospital, but they wouldn't be in for 6 hours or more. He was wanting to start IV antibiotics but wasn't exactly sure we should because we didn't have any concrete answers and they couldn't figure out what was wrong.

What we DID know is that Garth's vital signs weren't right nor was this high fever.  And as he said we had a choice (Garth was way out of it at this point - so my choice basically).....

"You need to understand if we DON'T start antibiotics, we can NEVER get back these 6 hours of waiting to see"

Pretty scary statement by the doctor that he repeated to me several times.  The choice was made to start antibiotics immediately and 2 different big guns. At this point, he was on hourly monitoring of vitals.  I began to realize how sick he really was.

Our small group has been doing a very challenging study called Circle Maker and the idea is to draw a circle around your need and pray specifically for it, while waiting expectantly for God to work.  And waiting does not mean sitting and doing nothing.  Waiting means preparing.  Preparing takes work.  I realized I needed to put this learning into action and God placed this challenge in our path. This is where rubber meets the road when you are working on an area of your life.

I formed a small group of people on a text group. I began to send updates WITH a specific prayer request of urgent needs.  Just one at a time.  Here's part of my list

• Vitals to be stabilized - we were on an hourly monitoring - later on we were able to spread that out. 
• Prayer for answers on the chest xray - it was then confirmed that the xray abnormality was due to lack of a deep breath -- but I knew then that that misreading was a miracle -- because we could not wait the amount of time to get him on antibiotics, he didn't have that much time. 
• Fever to be resolved -- this I asked for multiple times as it would be gone, but then would return with a vengance of pain and chills. Eventually it resolved. Persistent prayer. 
• Blood Glucose was 148 - at 150 because of his condition, they would need to administer insulin. Immediately asked for prayer just for this - next reading was also 148 and again asked for prayer - next reading was 90. 

I know that God doesn't always immediately answer and I know that there are a lot of times He doesn't answer in healing - but gives the ultimate healing.  But by praying specifically for things, I wanted this difficulty and hardship to be His story (history). I wanted God to be glorified through it and that his getting better had everything to do with God answering prayer. 

My challenge to you is to pray specific -- wait expectantly -- God WILL reveal Himself to you if you ask.  Recently I've been praying Ephesians 3:20 in my circumstances.  Asking God to do abundantly more as well as Revelations 3:7 to shut the door or open it by His power alone. 

What can I pray with you and for you in your life?  Let's be specific.  Let's drill down and make an impact.  Your prayers or lack of prayer has eternal consequences.  

Excellence vs Perfection

I'm reading a super cool book!  It's more of a "fun" in between book club reads.  The caption from Lisa's blog post grabbed my attention ---- your home should tell your story.  Not exact words - but that's what I took from it.  Being someone who loves words and pictures and remembering memories --- this screamed READ ME!

The Nesting Place has been a sweet surprise of life lessons.  I honestly thought it was a "how to" decorate your home, but instead is full of advice to life life now and the true meaning of hospitality and entertaining.

The author in her books expands on this thought -- and my challenge to you -- (from the Reluctant Entertainer by Sandy Coughlin) Sandy Coughlin writes: "Excellence is working toward an attainable goal that benefits everyone, while perfection comes from a place of great need -- usually the need to avoid criticism and gain praise and approval from others (selfish desires)"

Ouch.  Perfection may happen in very narrow circumstances in a very narrow place.  Which to me means narrow thinking? Granted, when we are talking brain surgery - perfection is what I want it to be.  But while the surgeon is perfect in his procedure, his home life may not be or even his office staff issues might be a mess.  My point is that not in all areas of our life can we have perfection.  Yet we continue to strive for it.  Selfish.

I like that this statement suggests we strive for excellence.  Strive is a verb.  It means action.  It means working toward something, I believe in all areas of our life we should be striving.

That says we can't stay stuck. We can't be in this same place in 5 years.  We should be striving internally and externally to make a difference.

Thoughts? Do you struggle with perfection?  Easy to stay status quo?

Firsts.......Firsts..........Firsts...

Life is racing by.  Sometimes I just want to press "pause". The kids are both in a phase of changing rapidly, experiencing new things constantly and just growing up and up..

 Hunter is junior lifeguarding - learning to teach swim lessons and paving the way to becoming a full fledged life guard when he turns 16 in June.  He does this 2 nights a week.  A great experience, and is learning a lot about teaching kids to swim. 

This says Hello Straight Teeth on the welcome board. 

Lindsay with her 4 braces on her front teeth. She has head gear to wear for sleeping. 

These new adventures in their lives mean bigger things are around the bend.  They are milestones into becoming adults.  And this mama can't help but to be proud and sad all at once! Today while at the doctor's office, someone was bringing in their 6 mo old baby boy for a well check.  As I talked to the mom and enjoyed the baby -- I thought don't blink ---- it goes so fast.  My babies were both just 6 months old the other day....

Life lessons to stop and enjoy these moments and milestones.  Thankful I have a job that is flexible to allow me to not miss these moments.  The small moments add up to who they'll be someday - what they will stand for, how they will live, and the impact they will have.

I saw an article that caught my eye this morning that said -- you think you are a bad parent? Or you question your parenting effectiveness?  I do this all the time --- wonder if when they are 35 they will laugh at me or need therapy for all the dysfunctional moments we have.  But this article said that by questioning yourself --- you are proving that you are a good parent by questioning yourself and rechecking in with yourself.  Constant tweeking.

I think that's what parenting takes -- constant tweeking.  Just when I think I have one of the kids figured out, they change and outgrow that stage.  So again we are reconfiguring.

Tweek on......

Obstacles that are really lies

I shared with you last week some notes from my bible study Undanted By Christine Caine.

This was our final lesson today. I have to say this bible study has made a lot of things clear, but also muddied the water as well as stirred it all up together.  I see clearly that I have a purpose and that I think I need to go after that purpose, but the HOW always halts you in your tracks.

One of the final thoughts (how I interpreted it, not the rest of the group - I know, shocker) was about obstacles.  It was a list of common obstacles.  I looked at these obstacles and thought, "what do each of these things look like in real life"?

For example - unforgiveness.  What would a person that has trouble forgiving look like on the inside? Maybe hard hearted.  Maybe bitter.  And so on and so on.  I kind of did a character sketch on each one of these.  My reasoning? To be able to help people more effectively.

Here's the list we had:

• Unforgiveness
• Bitterness
• Shame
• Fear
• Guilt
• Rejection 
• Hurt

2 points to these that I realized after doing my study and my sketches.  IF you have these in your life AND we ALL do........ 

YOU ARE STUCK.  

The stronghold of this list are LIES. 

We learned last Sunday at Church that all a stronghold is - is a LIE.  It is meant to deceive you.  It is meant to make you STUCK.  Nothing on this list is from God. 

No more.  It's time to be free.  No more duct tape, packing tape, webs. 

FREE to do what God has next in your life.  Are you free?  

Austin, here we come!

Insane.... insane......insane. Loving my insane life.

A few weeks ago, I was feeling very discontent. I posted about that in  my post called God's Up to Something Big

Fast forward ----- I received a personal phone call from IF: Gather saying that Jen's registration was processed as was mine.  We are IN!! We are going to Austin!

What is this conference?  It's called IF:Gather.  Founded by Jennie Allen IF exists to:

• GATHER &
• EQUIP &
• UNLEASH next generation of women to live out their purpose

Sounds like what should be next, don't you think?  

You too can participate in this.  It will be simulcast. Stay tuned for more information about this.  

I can't wait to see how God's going to use this.  Airline tickets are booked and we are ready to go learn and soak it all up to figure out how to leak it all out.  

On a popular TV show I like --- a firefighter was having a hard time overcoming his grief and doing things that weren't healthy in combating it. His boss called him in and his argument was that he was on the job, showing up.  The boss said -- It's NOT about showing up - it's MORE than that.  People count on you! 

Yes -- this is true to all areas of our lives. Are you just showing up? Soaking it up and not sharing it? 

Are you making a difference or an appearance? 

I will not show up in Austin.  It's time for more.  I want to live my life trusting in Ephesians 3:20.