I have a whole week to relax (well, kind of). I had great high hopes of doing nothing, but I'm not good at this. It's hard for me. My mind thinks of all these things I could do and should do. In this short time, I've learned that Hunter has the same personality as me.... go, go, go -- task list DONE! When I think of relaxing, I think of sleeping.. Maybe this problem isn't new as I had a class in college, and part of the homework was to visit the "relaxation lab" -- guess what I always did -- SLEPT through my time! Ha! The teacher always wrote on my paper, that I needed to find a way to relax -- that sleeping wasn't the answer.
I think I can learn some lessons from Garth & Lindsay -- that life CAN pass me by and I can sit back and relax... they are good at this. They don't care if they miss things or miss out, they care more about quality time with each other -- while Hunter & I fly by from our latest adventure....
How do you relax? Do you just sit? Do you do something fun for yourself? What do you call relaxing?
I'm reading my book club book (which is fantastically maddening), watching kids swim, playing volleyball and teaching the kids to play, feeding hungry kids. Today I braved the American Girl store! (This was NOT relaxing...just sayin...)
I'm trying to relax and will continue to work at it.. I've heard your body needs a break.
Dolphin Fun
2014 Cruise
Tuesday, March 27, 2012
Friday, March 9, 2012
Community
I'm loving where we are at in our life. We are "settled" (well as settled as I will ever be) in our neighborhood, home, schools, etc... we have "roots".
I love that you go for a walk and see people you know, you show up to the kids events and make new friends who become true, good friends.
Community is important. Making friends even more important, making a difference in someone's life who may in turn make a difference in yours.
Community provides safe havens for kids, kids who are hurting, have difficult lives. Community can be there to give a kid a chance. A chance to be accepted, excel and be loved. I think of this as Hunter has a very difficult boy on his swim team -- that the coaches are willing to provide this boy something positive in his life as his parents are in prison and has gone through hell. What if this team turns things around in his life? Or he looks back and realizes it was a safe place, a turning moment?
When Jesus talks about investing in others it's like the man who spread seeds --- some took and grew, some needed more fertilizer, some didn't take at all. But some may take a long time to grow. (my own paraphrase, please excuse). We don't know what seeds will take and what won't -- but none go wasted.
I'm proud to say we live in Aloha --- a community that really does invest in our youth. INVESTING is a word that I've been thinking of lately (as we keep passing out cash for things), that we truly are making an investment in our kids for their future and someday they invest into their community. It's a long term investment with immediate dividends.
I'm sad this is our last youth cheer event for the year -- I've come to love my cheer peeps (from coaches & mentors, to all the girls and of course my bestest mom peeps). And it's been such a great positive experience for Lindsay.
How can you invest in your community? Be a seed planter!
I love that you go for a walk and see people you know, you show up to the kids events and make new friends who become true, good friends.
Community is important. Making friends even more important, making a difference in someone's life who may in turn make a difference in yours.
Community provides safe havens for kids, kids who are hurting, have difficult lives. Community can be there to give a kid a chance. A chance to be accepted, excel and be loved. I think of this as Hunter has a very difficult boy on his swim team -- that the coaches are willing to provide this boy something positive in his life as his parents are in prison and has gone through hell. What if this team turns things around in his life? Or he looks back and realizes it was a safe place, a turning moment?
When Jesus talks about investing in others it's like the man who spread seeds --- some took and grew, some needed more fertilizer, some didn't take at all. But some may take a long time to grow. (my own paraphrase, please excuse). We don't know what seeds will take and what won't -- but none go wasted.
I'm proud to say we live in Aloha --- a community that really does invest in our youth. INVESTING is a word that I've been thinking of lately (as we keep passing out cash for things), that we truly are making an investment in our kids for their future and someday they invest into their community. It's a long term investment with immediate dividends.
I'm sad this is our last youth cheer event for the year -- I've come to love my cheer peeps (from coaches & mentors, to all the girls and of course my bestest mom peeps). And it's been such a great positive experience for Lindsay.
How can you invest in your community? Be a seed planter!
Wednesday, March 7, 2012
Change your Response
I haven't updated this in awhile, I'm sorry. It's been a month of ups and downs in my personal life and hasn't felt like the right time to tell the "world". But I think I'm ready -- plus I have to get this stuff down on paper if I ever get to write a book about it!
As a lot of you know, I've been corresponding with my birth mother for the past 2 years. I won't bore you with the story here as it's many, many pages. But in October, all communication ceased. I pushed her too far in the relationship, and she retreated. I made a choice then, I wouldn't chase. During this period of time, my social worker gave me some loving, difficult words. Words I didn't want to face, words that hurt but were true. This whole relationship was one sided. It wasn't a true, right relationship. I remained silent.
January 1st comes, I feel led to contact my birth siblings. I did expecting a response --- silence, nothing.
Sometimes silence hurts more than words, right?
I then made up my mind (did you see the word my?) that I would not continue to go where I'm not wanted. It's painful, it hurts, it's lonely. I'm DONE. D-O-N-E. I shared that in my prayer time to God, I'm D-O-N-E. But in the back of my mind (not my heart), I knew I couldn't be done. But allowed myself to "shelve it". To not dwell on it, to not think about it, but to lay it to rest of now.
I'm about 3 weeks into my little "shelving process". We are reading this book for book club that is a true story of about severe persecution in the US. And that this family continued to live somewhere where someone didn't want them and made their lives miserable. I found myself praying for this family -- what faith they had to remain to stay where they weren't wanted. I prayed this as I read this book. And also thinking I couldn't really relate to this.
Monday, Feb 13th -- having prayer time in the shower (yes, I do this alot -- it's rare solitude), I prayed for this family again and I felt the Lord telling me -- Yes, that's right. They went where they weren't wanted and I'm telling you to do the same. Persevere, continue on. I nicely (NOT) reminded Him I was taking a break, I couldn't continue to go where I was not wanted. It's painful all the way to your toes. (That's a subject for another blog - not being wanted).
All day I couldn't get this out of my mind and really struggled with this -- I told God no repeatedly.
I checked the mail after getting the kids from school ----- guess what was in the mail? THE sweetest card from my birth mom. I had a colored rubber band ball of emotions. Anger, sad, happy, hopeful, disgusted.
And finally, peace with God in knowing He had provided. His hand was showing the way. What confidence, affirmation and peace in doing what God has asked you to do. Is it easy? Not always. Is it rewarding? Yes, even though we may not see the reward this side of heaven.
What a great book club discussion we had on the lesson of forgiveness and persecution. I guess I could relate to the book (not on same life threatening scale, but emotionally). And the support and love I received from my sister chicks that night was life changing and confirming and loving.
God uses the broken, He uses those who choose to obey, and even those who resist (like I did), the rebellious.
What my birth mom is thinking, what I think, what others think really isn't bothering me as much .... I know what God has called me to do, and I trust He'll pave the way.
I then had to choose my response. And of course, they ran the whole course of things I could do or say and what my attitude would show. It wasn't always pretty. Even today, I had to put myself in check visiting with my social worker and sharing with her I can't waste any more energy or time trying to "figure her out" and figure out her motives. I may never know and in the end it doesn't really matter. I'm trusting God to the details.
And how I chose to respond, thank you for the sweet card. I really appreciate it. That was it. I will not go back to how things were and continue in the pattern. Change your response and it demands the other person changes theirs too in some way. You may not always see it outwardly, but inward they too have to change.
How can you change your response in a situation? My change has freed me. My heart feels lighter. Try it and see if yours does too.... let God handle the details.
As a lot of you know, I've been corresponding with my birth mother for the past 2 years. I won't bore you with the story here as it's many, many pages. But in October, all communication ceased. I pushed her too far in the relationship, and she retreated. I made a choice then, I wouldn't chase. During this period of time, my social worker gave me some loving, difficult words. Words I didn't want to face, words that hurt but were true. This whole relationship was one sided. It wasn't a true, right relationship. I remained silent.
January 1st comes, I feel led to contact my birth siblings. I did expecting a response --- silence, nothing.
Sometimes silence hurts more than words, right?
I then made up my mind (did you see the word my?) that I would not continue to go where I'm not wanted. It's painful, it hurts, it's lonely. I'm DONE. D-O-N-E. I shared that in my prayer time to God, I'm D-O-N-E. But in the back of my mind (not my heart), I knew I couldn't be done. But allowed myself to "shelve it". To not dwell on it, to not think about it, but to lay it to rest of now.
I'm about 3 weeks into my little "shelving process". We are reading this book for book club that is a true story of about severe persecution in the US. And that this family continued to live somewhere where someone didn't want them and made their lives miserable. I found myself praying for this family -- what faith they had to remain to stay where they weren't wanted. I prayed this as I read this book. And also thinking I couldn't really relate to this.
Monday, Feb 13th -- having prayer time in the shower (yes, I do this alot -- it's rare solitude), I prayed for this family again and I felt the Lord telling me -- Yes, that's right. They went where they weren't wanted and I'm telling you to do the same. Persevere, continue on. I nicely (NOT) reminded Him I was taking a break, I couldn't continue to go where I was not wanted. It's painful all the way to your toes. (That's a subject for another blog - not being wanted).
All day I couldn't get this out of my mind and really struggled with this -- I told God no repeatedly.
I checked the mail after getting the kids from school ----- guess what was in the mail? THE sweetest card from my birth mom. I had a colored rubber band ball of emotions. Anger, sad, happy, hopeful, disgusted.
And finally, peace with God in knowing He had provided. His hand was showing the way. What confidence, affirmation and peace in doing what God has asked you to do. Is it easy? Not always. Is it rewarding? Yes, even though we may not see the reward this side of heaven.
What a great book club discussion we had on the lesson of forgiveness and persecution. I guess I could relate to the book (not on same life threatening scale, but emotionally). And the support and love I received from my sister chicks that night was life changing and confirming and loving.
God uses the broken, He uses those who choose to obey, and even those who resist (like I did), the rebellious.
What my birth mom is thinking, what I think, what others think really isn't bothering me as much .... I know what God has called me to do, and I trust He'll pave the way.
I then had to choose my response. And of course, they ran the whole course of things I could do or say and what my attitude would show. It wasn't always pretty. Even today, I had to put myself in check visiting with my social worker and sharing with her I can't waste any more energy or time trying to "figure her out" and figure out her motives. I may never know and in the end it doesn't really matter. I'm trusting God to the details.
And how I chose to respond, thank you for the sweet card. I really appreciate it. That was it. I will not go back to how things were and continue in the pattern. Change your response and it demands the other person changes theirs too in some way. You may not always see it outwardly, but inward they too have to change.
How can you change your response in a situation? My change has freed me. My heart feels lighter. Try it and see if yours does too.... let God handle the details.
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