20 Years of Marriage

20 years? I think I got married when I was 10....no really, to say we have been married that long made me feel old.  18, 19 were okay, but 20 was like, no way?!?

20 years ago I thought I knew it all,
     Today I realize I don't know much

20 years ago I had it all planned out,
     That was a huge waste of time

20 years ago life was happily ever after
     That didn't last long after the honeymoon

20 years ago, we said to have and hold,
     We have spent a lot of time having to hold to each other in storms of life

20 years ago, we said richer or poorer,
     Garth lost his job less than 6 months after we married, and proceeded to go back to school. We
     faced the poorer right away.

20 years ago, we said in sickness and in health,
     If you know us at all, health has been a roller coaster our whole marriage

20 years ago, we said to love and cherish,
     This is a choice and one we work on every day. This does not always come naturally

20 years ago, we said til death do us part,
     And when the going gets tough, remember these words. We committed until death, there is no
     talk of divorce EVER in our home

20 years ago, according to God's holy ordinance
     Studying God's word together, and praying for each other, gets you through any storm

20 years ago, pledge myself to you
     This means my life is no longer my own, my decisions and plans now consider someone else
     and there is no room for selfishness

20 years ago, these were easy words to say,
     20 years later, I 'm thankful we have made the effort to uphold these vows


If you would have told me then, the things I would face, I'm not sure I could have committed.

But now, looking back at all the things we have gone through, I would say yes all over again. Life is better together.

Ecclesiastes 3

A Time for Everything

3 For everything there is a season,
    a time for every activity under heaven.
2 A time to be born and a time to die.
    A time to plant and a time to harvest.
3 A time to kill and a time to heal.
    A time to tear down and a time to build up.
4 A time to cry and a time to laugh.
    A time to grieve and a time to dance.
5 A time to scatter stones and a time to gather stones.
    A time to embrace and a time to turn away.
6 A time to search and a time to quit searching.
    A time to keep and a time to throw away.
7 A time to tear and a time to mend.
    A time to be quiet and a time to speak.
8 A time to love and a time to hate.
    A time for war and a time for peace.

9 What do people really get for all their hard work? 10 I have seen the burden God has placed on us all. 11 Yet God has made everything beautiful for its own time. He has planted eternity in the human heart, but even so, people cannot see the whole scope of God’s work from beginning to end. 12 So I concluded there is nothing better than to be happy and enjoy ourselves as long as we can. 13 And people should eat and drink and enjoy the fruits of their labor, for these are gifts from God.

14 And I know that whatever God does is final. Nothing can be added to it or taken from it. God’s purpose is that people should fear him. 15 What is happening now has happened before, and what will happen in the future has happened before, because God makes the same things happen over and over again.

Verse 15 stood out to me today.  The things I'm facing and the uncertainty of today and tomorrow have happened before.  People in my life have been there, done that.  This is why we need our community around us.  This is why you surround yourself with a diverse circle of people in your life.  SOMEONE has been in your shoes before. 

A time to be quiet and a time to speak.  Before we can shout and share what God is doing from a rooftop, we need to deal with it in the closet.  To wrestle and work through the issues God has me working on in the moment.  Too often, we speak before we're ready.  Trying to work on this in my life.  What God does in my heart, needs to go deep - not wide.  Wide will come in time, but deep is what matters most in our faith. It's what grounds us.  Harvesting before you are ready leads to disease, low yields, weeds. It messes with the cycle of the plant.

A time to plant and a time to harvest.  I need some planting at this point in my life. I'm hungry and thirsty.  Craving more of Him.  It's okay to admit.  It's okay to need fertilized, so long as I come back around to harvest it.  

When reading this - it says to me "balance".  You can't need planting every year and never harvest it. You can't just have death and no life. You can't spend your whole life searching.  

Balance is hard.  It means giving up the old to go for the new.  It means disappointing some in your life to seek out the new potential relationships in life. Obeying comes with a price, but in the end an even greater reward.  It never says it will be easy. 

Better Together

Have you ever felt so overwhelmed with gratitude? To the point of having no words to express it? I've wanted to blog a bit when transitioning to our new home, but didn't have the words. I'm not sure I even do now.

We sold our house in a day. Our realtor, which we consider family, Andrew Beach knew how to price it, how to market it and wow is all we can say! He rocks!

Pressure was on to find a new house. Easier said than done with our list ---- Aloha schools, RV parking, big rooms for entertaining, prefer an HOA neighborhood, etc, etc, etc.  And for under $xxx,xxx!! LOL! (Now I can LOL, not then)

We trusted God would provide, as He always has before.  Confirmation of selling our home so quickly and for above the asking price, we knew it would happen.

This house came on the market on a Tuesday.  We had both seen it at an realtor open house, it was super cheap but at the time we said it wouldn't work for our family.  This was before we had put ours on the market.  Well, once it came back on the market and we were in a different mind frame this time, we thought we should look at it!

We called Andrew to say we wanted to look at it again. He said they were not showing it until the weekend due to having a new baby. He said if we were interested in it, we should just make an offer and have them accept it before the weekend to avoid a bidding war.  He said we could always get out of it after having the inspection. Basically, we had nothing to lose.

We did it! We made an offer on a house that we hadn't really seen!  Craziness! It was under budget, had enough square feet, etc.....

Fast forward to our move and God provided once again with amazing, over the top family and friends that helped us out.  We had 6-8 of us there for a week straight painting, putting in new lights, cleaning, weeding.  All in time to get new flooring put in.

Garth and I would never have been able to do all of that without our family. My dad and mom, aunt and uncle and friend Cyndi spent the week with us working all day long.  The house now looks amazing and we are so happy to call it home.  It fits us. It fits our family's needs and even more, our entertaining lifestyle.

Milestones

Today marks a milestone. It's one of those, as a mother that you look forward to and that you dread all at once.  Hunter got his driver's license.  He's ready. He's confident.  We've tried to prepare him. 

I remember thinking when they were little, if only I could send them to the store.  How handy it would be to run that errand for me.  Here we are..... he's got my other baby in the car with him.  They are heading to the orthodontist by themselves.  

I'm home alone. This feels odd.  It's a bit unsettling and exciting all at the same time.  

It's change. 

It's something new.  

Parenting is all about changes.  Constantly adapting your life to the littles in your life.  

I wish you could have seen his proud smile.  Really.  I teared up. He was so excited and proud.  It's a huge milestone.  He's so excited to drive himself to work. 

You parents of toddlers and littles --- it goes so quick.  Embrace every day, every moment.  Enjoy these milestones.  Celebrate them.  I would say I'd take him to celebrate, but he's already gone celebrating with his sister. 

My prayer life has changed once again in the past 2 hours....... 

IF:Table --- I'm scared to join - what is it?

I've been a bit out of touch.  Buying and selling a house is a bit consuming as is settling in.  We are absolutely loving every minute of our home!

I wanted to try and explain what IF:Table is all about - at least to me.  We are kicking this off at our church and I thought by explaining what it is, you would climb on board this fun journey!

IF:Table stemmed from a lady that -- when her husband took a pastor position, she decided she wanted to have the entire congregation over for dinner.  Of course, this can't happen at once -- but 6x6 she worked her way through the entire congregation.  You can see more of her story at www.ifgathering.com and click on gather, then IF:Table.

When we were at the conference, we had mini ideas of what this should look like.  For example:

• After a few hours of teaching, we turned around and sat in a circle with those close to us and asked simple questions from a list of cards. 
• This concept helped you get to know someone new
• It helped you process the speakers you had just heard
• It made the event get personal and small
• BTW, Jennifer and I made new friends this way that we ended up having meals with! 
• Dinner Friday night
• You picked a card based on $$$ and type of food
• When you arrived at your choice, you were to meet up and find new friends to sit with! 
• You weren't necessarily given questions to ask, but kind of did that indirectly because it made conversation flow better
• This is where we met our rockstar friends we ended up sight-seeing with!! It was incredible. 

People look at me and say I'm an extrovert --- but each of those things were hard for me.  I was with my friend from Tucson and was more than content to just be with her since we don't get that every day! But - the blessings that flowed from these times outweighed my anxiety about it.  

Did you get that last line? 

MY BLESSINGS OUTWEIGHED MY ANXIETY.  

IF:Table is very simple.  You gather 6-8 women at someone's house for a meal.  This can look different for each group ---- potluck, themed dinner, potato bar, simple, delicate, over the top, etc.  Depends on the hostess and the decisions in the group.  You don't have to have a huge house -- or even a table that seats everyone - or the perfect set up.  

You ask 4 questions.  This is my favorite part. Want to know why? I hate small talk.  I hate trying to make conversations with strangers.  It's exhausting.  It's not my thing.  The table focuses on these 4 questions and the conversations it starts.  The focus is off me. It's off you.  It's answering a question.  

It's only 2 hours --- once a month.  There is a start and end time. You won't be there forever.  It makes the time have purpose and recognizes that we respect your time.  And once a month? Who can't do once a month night out with some new friends? 

The simplicity of it is refreshing.  It reminds me of the stories of the disciples sitting with Jesus. Impromptu (although we do have a date set) but purposeful.  It's not about the food, or the cleanliness or appearances. It's about learning to be more like Christ and being intentional about your life.  

Personally, I do better in situations that have purpose.  But no so rigid that I can't be me or I can't see how to use my gifts.  

The table is a place where friendships are formed and lives are changed.  

IF:Walk it Out my Own Way

I'm BAACCCKKKKK.....

Time flies when you are having fun.  I haven't posted in a bit -- it's been a busy few months of packing up 1/2 the house, having a sick husband, painting the house, listing the house, selling the house, buying a new house, kids sports, enrolling Hunter at Aloha High, small groups, AUSTIN.
Yep -- that's where I've been since November.

A LOT of you have asked me about my conference.  It was a similar experience to Guatemala in that you came home changed, perspectives were tweaked.  Yet, this time, without my family feeling the same.  But needing time to have it "soak" in to where you could even explain it and make sense to others.  I still realize it's me, and I'm crazy and don't make sense to a lot of you - so that could be a long wait......... but..........

There is so much to tell you that it may take a few blog posts as you and I both don't have all day to write/read.  But the theme of the conference was to DREAM BIG.  And of course, IF is all about asking the question, IF GOD IS REAL, THEN WHAT?

We studied the story of Caleb and Joshua, being spies and checking out the city of Jericho, the promised land.  From the time they went to spy, to the time the walls of Jericho fell.  Each speaker built up to the walls falling.  Taking scripture and dissecting it down.

As we sat under humble, beautiful, talented women sharing God's word ---- I was really moved to continue to run my race.  I was really hoping to hear something new or hear God say to do something really great for Him.  But that's not what happened.  Really not.  I was hoping for clarity.  I got muddy confirmation.  I was hoping for something "new" (you have to know me to appreciate this), I got "stick with it". I was hoping for "a ha", I got continue in your own lane.

Joshua 1:6-9
How many times does God say Be Bold & Courageous?
Life is a battle.  We have the Conqueror on our side.  But we need to be bold and courageous in this lifetime.  Being bold means standing up for what is right, being bold means not being afraid.  Courageous leave legacies.  This was not a suggestion.  This was a command.

They had gone to check out the land as spies (Numbers 13) and had seen what their competition was. Caleb & Joshua had said -- we can do this!  God is on our side! The other 10 spies shared how scary it was, how big the enemy was, how it was a daunting task.  They couldn't see the bigger picture of the land and honey.  The bigger picture that their God was on their side.  They weren't willing to be bold and were sure lacking courage.

I don't want to be one of the 10.  I want to be the one that says - nothing is impossible because my God is on my side.  He has overcome all evil. He wants what is best for me.

Being 2 of 12 - with 10 against you is where I get weary.  This is where I wish I could run a different race sometimes.  This is where we look and say why can't we live like so and so? Why do I struggle while others race through?

Hebrews 12 states that we are called to run the race MARKED for us.  Sometimes I think we glaze over the part that states it is JUST for us, we just see to run the race and run it well.  We need to put our blinders on and not look to the right or left.  That will cause you to stumble.  Think of running the race --- if you take your eyes off the finish line, you will lose your footing.  You will fall back.  You will be distracted.  The cool thing is that God has a race made just for you!  I don't have to run someone else's course, nor at the speed that they are, just run your own course(thank God, cause I'm slow)

This leads me to my new saying ---- Walk it Out and Walk it Out in your Own Lane.  Christine Caine and Bianca Orthoff encouraged us to Walk it Out.

Joshua 6 talks about Joshua and his gang walking around the City of Jericho.  They were to walk around it once a day for 6 days.  Then the 7th day they were to walk it 7 times while blowing horns.  Does this seem crazy to you?

Our small minds think --- I've already done this for 5 days -- nothing has happened.
Day 6 -- is this for real? What will be different tomorrow? Why should we keep doing this? Nothing is happening.

Day 7 arrives and you were to walk around -- AND make noise?  Seriously?
God literally waited until the 7th day, after the 7th lap ---- the walls fell down.

WALK IT OUT...... what if you are on day 6 of a trial?  What if the answer is around the next bend?  Bianca Orthoff said --- "Results are God's responsibilities, responses are ours. You need to walk it out when it's not working out"

What in your life needs "walked out"?  What are you going to choose to do?

I'm trying to Be Bold and Courageous in Walking out my Race. With God's help - nothing is impossible.  Luke 1:45 and Luke 18:27

Circle Your Need and Pray Like Mad

It's Tuesday. We've spent 6 hours in the ER - trying to figure out what's going on with Garth.  High, ridiculous fever that is giving him chills that literally lift him off the bed.  The doctor sat with me, just watching him breathe and shiver and watch his teeth shake like a cartoon figure - only this was my sick, sick husband.

After deciding to admit him and just watch him --- The Dr. came in and said we had to make a decision --- the chest xray had come back abnormal (but not a normal abnormal), he wanted the radiologist to reread it in the hospital, but they wouldn't be in for 6 hours or more. He was wanting to start IV antibiotics but wasn't exactly sure we should because we didn't have any concrete answers and they couldn't figure out what was wrong.

What we DID know is that Garth's vital signs weren't right nor was this high fever.  And as he said we had a choice (Garth was way out of it at this point - so my choice basically).....

"You need to understand if we DON'T start antibiotics, we can NEVER get back these 6 hours of waiting to see"

Pretty scary statement by the doctor that he repeated to me several times.  The choice was made to start antibiotics immediately and 2 different big guns. At this point, he was on hourly monitoring of vitals.  I began to realize how sick he really was.

Our small group has been doing a very challenging study called Circle Maker and the idea is to draw a circle around your need and pray specifically for it, while waiting expectantly for God to work.  And waiting does not mean sitting and doing nothing.  Waiting means preparing.  Preparing takes work.  I realized I needed to put this learning into action and God placed this challenge in our path. This is where rubber meets the road when you are working on an area of your life.

I formed a small group of people on a text group. I began to send updates WITH a specific prayer request of urgent needs.  Just one at a time.  Here's part of my list

• Vitals to be stabilized - we were on an hourly monitoring - later on we were able to spread that out. 
• Prayer for answers on the chest xray - it was then confirmed that the xray abnormality was due to lack of a deep breath -- but I knew then that that misreading was a miracle -- because we could not wait the amount of time to get him on antibiotics, he didn't have that much time. 
• Fever to be resolved -- this I asked for multiple times as it would be gone, but then would return with a vengance of pain and chills. Eventually it resolved. Persistent prayer. 
• Blood Glucose was 148 - at 150 because of his condition, they would need to administer insulin. Immediately asked for prayer just for this - next reading was also 148 and again asked for prayer - next reading was 90. 

I know that God doesn't always immediately answer and I know that there are a lot of times He doesn't answer in healing - but gives the ultimate healing.  But by praying specifically for things, I wanted this difficulty and hardship to be His story (history). I wanted God to be glorified through it and that his getting better had everything to do with God answering prayer. 

My challenge to you is to pray specific -- wait expectantly -- God WILL reveal Himself to you if you ask.  Recently I've been praying Ephesians 3:20 in my circumstances.  Asking God to do abundantly more as well as Revelations 3:7 to shut the door or open it by His power alone. 

What can I pray with you and for you in your life?  Let's be specific.  Let's drill down and make an impact.  Your prayers or lack of prayer has eternal consequences.