I feel as though I'm in a time warp, but on fast forward, like the scene in the movie Click where he doesn't want to go through this or that or listen to what people have to say, so he fast forwards. However, I'm not choosing the fast forward button, I'm looking for the pause button.
I feel like I'm in a weird stage of parenting. When you are first a parent, you are with your kids 24/7 doing all things for them, they take up your every waking and even sleeping moments. Then they transition to school.... and so on and so forth....
My oldest is entering high school, my youngest entering middle school. They are functioning without me (of course I'm the taxi service, so not fully without me) and doing things with friends or even by themselves. Today I "dropped" them off at the pool to hang with friends and left. Yesterday one of them worked, the other was with a friend. Life is changing.
And as much as I like change (cause I TOTALLY do), this one is hard. Today I realized that instead of having my kids with me 24/7, I get moments. From here on out, it's moments. I need to make them count. They are becoming more independent, doing their own thing, friends are becoming more priority. I'm not complaining, just saying that the reality is I get them now for "moments".
I need to not be petty, not be so picky and enjoy the moment. I need to soak it up, make it last, journal it, embrace it. You think you will always remember, but you don't. In fact, we were just looking at photo albums from about 7 years ago and I couldn't recall certain events. And I hadn't documented them well. I thought I would always remember, but I didn't. Learning this lesson... today's bible study was a reminder that remember is used 150 times in the bible because it's important. Life is not always on the mountain top, so you have to remember those moments to deal with the pain that comes.
Parenting is the most interesting job I've ever had or ever will. It's not a job you can show up at each day and you pay the same bills, run the same payroll, process the PERS. It's a job that requires you to be on your toes, aware, sensitive, ability to shift gears quickly and easily.
Moments... I want to enjoy each and every one. Savor and treasure them. As I told Garth, we are embarking on a ton of firsts and a ton of lasts.... celebrate each and every one.
