God showed up big time in my day and I hope He did for you too.
The day before Mother's Day I got to spend time with my mom, sister in law and my Grandma. We attended a woman's tea that had a great speaker who encouraged us to live for today as we aren't guaranteed anymore than that. Perfect timing as my Grandma (who is 95) was struggling in her health. As I visited her, it broke my heart to see her deterioration. To deteriorate and know it seems worse than my Grandpa who was deteriorating, but with Alzheimer's didn't really know it. So, this made me very sad and very thankful to have a family that lives with no regrets and if God called her home, we were as ready as you can be. I love my Grandma, her sense of humor, her wisdom on life, her humility that says she hasn't even figured life out and most of all I love her faithful prayer life for her children and grandchildren and great grandchildren.
That day when other things seemed bleak, you would mention my cousins or my children --- her face would light up. I pray for that type of love in my own life -- such a testimony -- even when you don't feel good or I get to be 95.
Then we spent the evening with my mom -- and loved watching her face light up as we gave her a Kindle. She was so very excited and it's always fun making memories together as a family.
I had a rough time leaving that night. It's hard to live away -- even though it's a bit over an hour away -- you can't just pop in to see things. It resets your priorities. I'm not sure why it has to take these kinds of things to refocus you, but it seems that's true. Maybe I should work on that.
My heart was a bit broken........
Earlier in the week, I had sent my birth mom an email -- God had been leading me to open my heart a bit, and let her see a glimpse and also share some words with her. This scares me, and I guess always will.
Her response on Mother's Day..... no response to my words I sent to her, but a simple Happy Mother's Day email.
My heart was a bit more broken........
The kids woke up. They had each made me a gift. Hunter painted me a beautiful picture of rocks at the ocean. (The beach is my favorite!!!) Truly a gift, I love how they share their love. And then came Lindsay's letter.
Tonya:
Caring, hardworking, loving, helpful
Mother of Lindsay, Hunter, Jeff
Lover of family, polar bears & dark chocolate
Who feels happy, loved & peaceful
Who needs nothing
Who gives kisses, love & faith
Who fears losing her children, illness & family dying
Who would like to see her kids not fighting, a clean house & people become Christians
Resident of Beaverton, OR
Mosher
Wow. Wow. It was as though it was a love letter from my God as well. He saw my needs, my hurts, and allowed my kids and husband to love on me and affirm me. I don't think you could ask for a better gift.
It is my saying for the week:
Life is hard -- God is faithful
What an awesome God to see my broken heart and know just how to mend it. He understands, He hurts with me, He misses nothing. Truly blessed. Truly blessed.
